my scribblingsss ^v^...

2010-03-20T00:48:00.000-07:00

oo saathi re ...

din doobe na ..
aa chal din ko roke ..
dhoop ke peeche daude ..
chaav chuue na ..

ooo saathi ree...

I just can't get over this song from the movie "Omkara".. such a soft haunting one !! Ever since I heard this 4 the first time , I have fallen for it . Strange is the fact that the person who sent me this song and I , have the similar taste 'only' in songs and those who know me the best, dont prefer such haunting/nostalgic songs too !! isn't it weird ? why is it so? PEOPLE !!

well,whatever it be ,I loovee this song ... I can just go on listening to this forever , provided K is taken care of ;o) ... again - me n my thoughts :) ...

There used to be one such song always for me - during school/college days , like - ഇരു ഹൃദയങ്ങളില്‍ .. / പാടാം നമുക്ക് പാടാം. / take my hand..take my whole life too .. but I can't help falling in love with you .. / who can say by Enya / Helloo ..is it me u r looking for .. / എന്നൈ കാനവില്‍ലയെ... from kadhal desam ( I still remember how I took off one day n stayed back in my hostel room n listened to this song over n over ;o) .. gud old days !! ..) / വെണ്ണിലാവേ.. വെണ്ണിലാവേ .. from MK ( the one song that helped me get over my ?!? / ഇരു വിഴി ഉനധു .. from Minnale ../ ഒന്ട്ര രന്ട്ര ആസൈഗള് n അനല്‍ മേലെ പനിതുളി ../ ചലോ തുംകോ ../ ഹര്‍ ഘടി ബദല്‍ രഹേ.. are few to name and now this !!

anyways ..I have maNy things to write, but its like at times you are stuck , u want to write , but you can't - fearing what ppl will think when they read or coz it will lighten your feelings once its put down . For once, I loved being anonymous ..now that atleast few of my friends know that its me .. hmm .. problem !! On a second thought its ok , my good ol' friends know me very well,so nothing to worry and the new ones , never mind !! :) .. you can't be too careful :P ..

oree nyabagam .... ! ഒരേ ന്യാപകം ..

2009-12-16T22:16:00.000-08:00

Random thoughts .....

a looking back at 2009 ..

Reading a friend's blog made me come back to mine :) .. and I feel good about it .

Its been a while since I blogged , well n audio blogged . Many things kept me away from blogging , could be my little one or my b"i"tter 1/2 ( nah!!jz joking ..he is too gud , atleast he's putting up with me, which I should appreciate ;o) ) ..anyways .. so where was I ?? Yeah , things that kept me away from blogging ..hmm.. well even if I say n things, it would all reflect only as my laziness or mere excuses ...so lets leave it there .. safe inside my own thoughts ..

I still cannot believe that I am going to be a 2 yr old's Mom soon .. God , time just flies !! I can still remember how excited I was when I first saw my little one yelling at the top of her voice when her tiny Lungs started to expand upon landing to Life :) .. From that day on ..till today is she a blessing or what ?? Ofcourse yes .. but at times ... I feel like a zombie pulling out the remaining hair off the headuuuuuuuu ....like a crazy yahoo smilie ... haaah ... despite all that I love each n every moment spent with her ... Despite the ever-increasing aches n pains post-delivery (only 4 me , God knows Y ?!?!?) and the ever-changing daily activities and priorities , like every Mother I am enjoying "being-a-Mother" wholly .

Life has changed a lot in the past 1 year - relations ,priorities , people around me , me myself and ofcourse the shows that I watch now, to the extend that if taking the remote , my hands automatically does the controls till I go to the Kids section of On Demand .. how strange !!! haah!! Ofcourse, there is one thing that dint happen this year too .. all fault mine :)- my studies & my profession ,where am I ? what am I doing ?

Talking about relations , it was more like a downfall ,like there was a sudden loss of happiness in my world. People whom I considered so close moved away and those who were nt close to me earlier became an inevitable part of my life .I had no idea, how & why it happend, but it did and slowly ,to be frank I loved that change :) . Though it did hurt a bit in the beginning , now I like it this way .. coz if they moved away from me , they may not have been close to me at all from the beginning , I suppose. I like to think that way .. its ok .. me n my thinking .. got problem .. stay away !! Let me live !! :-) ...

I met my best friend and her family on my last trip to India , it's something I would cherish until I meet her again . The times we had .. the talks that we shared were the same , just like how it was years ago . I loved it !! Miss u S .. Times that we spent with our most loved ones are the shortest but the sweetest ... :)..who knows it better than me ..

Something very very very bad happened during that time -the sudden demise of my childhood Buddy 'N' .. We were so close then,that we used to tell our Parents and elders around us that we would get married wen we grow up and I guess thats the sweetness of having a childhood buddy .. there was no like/infatuation nothing , but we liked each others company a lot .. years went by and we once met as teenagers and we were kinda strangers to each other, and it stayed so . And some day my Mother told me that she was going to attend his wedding or so and I felt nothing except a bit upset coz I cud'nt go attend it . May be that would have been the last chance to have seen him too, only if I knew !! And while on a pleasure trip during last India trip, a call from my Mother informed me about his sudden demise leaving behind 2 kids n his loving wife . It was such a shock to me , just dint know how to handle it ,though I knew life was too unpredictable,this was way too much to be digested . But then again ,its not in our hands. That made me realize the uncertainty in life's promises .And so when few of my good friends ( as I thought ) moved away , I let it happen , coz its their wish n their life , n their choice .. if they have problem with me, its theirs , not mine . Glad they did !! I learnt that at times you have to just let go ... so plz goooo .. :) ..

Visited my family in Philly , I wanted Irene to spend some quality time with her Uncle n Aunt and I'm glad she did :). Met my best'est' friend Sush and spent some good time with her darling baby and the best part was that reen n my friend's son became friends instantly, hmm ..that was such a surprise to both of us .And we were haaaaapppyyyyyyyy :) . It was a much awaited break that we( si& me)finally got .. was nice !! Some 'us' time for us :D... except for the flying , we 3 enjoyed it to the fullest !!!!

Many changes happened in my own family , but as the saying goes " The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you " God has been kind to us all through .

How can I not sing my fav hymn ..

"Great is thy Faithfulness O Lord my Father ...
There is no shadow of turning with thee ..
Thou changest not thy compassions they fail not ..
As thou has been forever will be .. "

I'm so looking forward to celebrating Christmas & my little one's 2nd birthday with my near and dear ones .. Thanking God for giving me the best gift ever in the form of reen :).. love u dearie .. And awaiting the New Year with a sparkle in my mind :) ...

2008-05-07T23:57:00.000-07:00

On Mother's Day ...

pencil sketch of a mother-baby from one of my old scrapbooks :) ..

Mother - who ever found that word must be idolized . How do they become so dear to one ? Is it just because of giving birth ? Damn sure the answer is a big NO .. In this world where we even get a womb to hold the embryo , Mother has to have more meaning than just giving birth .

Love -From the time a baby is born , she guards him under her wings until he is mature enough to take off . She is the ONLY one who keeps the same love towards her child from the day 1 to the time he parts .Hers is " the unconditional love " that exist at all . It doesnt demand anything , but Love in return .

Share - our happiness n sorrows - She shares and cares - all her happiness with her child and shares all his sorrows and bear it as hers .She lives our joys . She hides her tears when she is in pain but shed it liberally when her child is in pain . No one else can do that . She makes us face our fears and overcome it .

Dream- She shares our hopes and dreams . 'Only' she wants the best out of/for her child and would be the best critic of her child , even if it hurts . Because no one else would even bother to correct you or want you to follow the right path or do the right thing, but Mother .

Forgiveness-And they are for-ever forgiving, for, " to forgive is Mother's " , not anyone else's . That is Mother's Love n fortunate are those who realizes it early enough when they are still around us . As the saying goes " its never late to tell her how much she is loved and adored " . 'Coz if not for her, you would not have been here reading this :) .

I still remember the good old days when my brother n I used to wait for our Mother to reach home every weekend from the town of her workplace . Seeing her half-way through the long narrow road , we would run towards her , cling on to her from both sides and she would hold us tight as her face glow with joy. ( Who knew what that joy meant then ?! ) And what s the first thing that we do ? Dig into her bag, as we know for sure that she must have gotten something for us , not just something , our favorite Chocolate ! Take it out , run away , take few bites and then keep the rest safe in the refrigerator to munch on later . Its just one of the trillion memories that I have in my golden casket of memories ..

Love endures all, esply Mother's . And that is the only one that stays without fading ever . For a lifetime , it stays unconditional and unchallenged .She will remember her child's first days , first smile that filled her heart and soul ,his first laugh and first fall .. and they will be stored in her memories .. she is the most wonderful being , who knows to love n to love n to love n to love n to love ........... No one can replace her !!

with love ...

Mother's Day is May 11 th ..Happy Mother's Day to all Moms out there :) ..

2008-03-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

"ila kozhiyum shishirathil ..
cheru kilikal varavaayi... "

view from my room ..

2007-01-30T19:12:00.000-08:00

mooka sandhyayil anyayaai ninnu njan ..!!

2006-10-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

I hardly knew what tagging meant :( until I visited MagicLens's blog,who tagged me :0) . Somehow I liked the idea of jotting down few things about me , easier when it is weird, coz its really WEIRD to write down all one's PLUS points rite??!! ;0).. Alrite.. here you go ...

1.Perhaps the most weird thing goes on top of the list - I have always noticed myself going out of my way to do things for others, even if I knew that person only for the past 1 sec. and ofcourse I get a lot of satisfaction after being a help to someone, but the worst part is , when I need a help, I too expect it from some1 n there when I find no helping hand & mind , tat puts me off for the next couple of days!! And thats it, after 2 days the same person to whom I went for help comes back to me n I m all set again to extend arms . Well Y I think this is weird is , coz , ppl keep telling me not to expect anything from others, I feel , they themselves & all knows tat "to expect is human " ;0).. I always give a 2nd chance to everyone in my life .. be it family or friends !

2. Twice while in dental school , I bunked classes to sit n listen to 2 songs ... 1 day I bunked college and heard this song "Anbe Anbe " from Kaadhal Desam " for almost 15 times continuously .. and another day I did the same for " Enne thaalaatta varuvaala " from Kadhalukku Maryadai " . I dont know what was going through my head that time, but I really did enjoy it to my heart's content,tho all others thot it was one among the other madness in me . Only the other day I was talking to my SIL abt this & like every1 else she asked me " vattarunnoo " nnu ?? haha .. wot to do ..except the bunking part ,I still do the same , sitting at home n listening to my fav song over n over n over n over .....!

3.I have watched my brother's wedding video probably the most # of times than they themselves/any1 else would have !! I really dont know the reason ,probably coz it was one of the most important days in my life or coz of the good songs in it , or coz it has all my dearest ppl in it .. lol .. I still cant figure out why ?? n Once my SIL also mentioned, tat she herself had not seen it completely till now !!

4. I need ppl around me all the time , I like to be chirpy-chirpy & cheerful & make others around me happy always , though at times, when nostalgia strikes me , I love to curl back to my own shell & entertain myself with music & a race thru all the old foto albums !! A cloudy day , a song, rain or a day giving way to dusk anything could make me NOSTALGIC .. !!!

5.I am a neatness freak !!! I like to keep my home as neat n clean & beautiful as I can & keep wiping my kitchen countertop ,keep on cleaning soemthing or the other at home "endless times" even if there is nothing on it , which made my husband ask me once, " kazhinja janmathil nee entha thudappukaari aarunno " nnu .. !! ;0)

6.I say I dont want to believe all x,y,z whom I meet , but at that moment , I trust anyone so blindly , that at times I get to regret over it .

Okkk...now I have made a weirdo outta me ,,,Well, only when I started to write down the weirdos of mine , did I realize that there are many & it could get very personal too ..I wonder if I can jot down something nice abt me :( , the way I blabbered while during a dental school interview when they asked me to express my + n - .... I had to roll my eyes & stare at them ..like a yahoo smilie .. !! weird isn't it ??!!!

I would love to tag some 1, but "who" is te difficult part , as I dont know many of them .Still with pleasure ,giving them also the privilege to be tagged ;0) - chacha, Jeseem ,Shaniyan ,Byju San ,Meera ,Kiranzz !!!

Enjoy being tagged dears !!!! :0)..n thanks dear ML 4 tagging me .. :)

2006-09-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

3 തരം പായസം- അട പ്രധമന്‍,അരി പായസം,സേമിയ പായസം. പിന്നെ എല്ലാ സദ്യ വിഭവങ്ങളും ഇഞ്ചി കറി ഉള്‍പടെ ,കൂട്ടി ഒരു നല്ല അടിപൊളി ഓണസദ്യ കൂടെ നല്ല ഭംഗി ഉള്ള ഒരു പൂക്കളവും .

അങ്ങനെ നമ്മുടെ 2006-ലെ ഓണം അടിചു പൊളിച്ചു !!!

2006-09-01T17:09:00.000-07:00

Smile an everlasting smile .. a smile can bring you near to me ........

Living such an unpredictable life , I do wonder why it is so difficult for some people to stretch their facial muscles .. to bring a smile on to their face . . After all a smile would just add beauty to the beautiful face ..

Smile -Laughter ... ‘laughter is the best medicine,’ - an old saying appears to be true when it comes to protecting your heart too.

So , ppl .. smile an everlasting smile .. to ur "hearts" content ...Its your heart and your life ... live it to the fullest ...

I Love to smile n be happyy always .. no matter what .. though at times I am forced to seal my lips .... thanks to the world around me ..

Life is too beautiful ..enjoiiiiiii ..dears ... !!!

2006-08-24T13:29:00.000-07:00

ഇത്ര മേല്‍ മണമുള്ള കുടമുല്ല പൂവുകള്‍ക്ക്‌ എത്ര കിനാക്കളുണ്ടായിരിക്കും....

സന്ധ്യാംബരത്തിന്റെ മന്ദസ്മിതങ്ങളില്‍ അവയെത്ര അഴകുള്ളതായിരിക്കും....

2006-08-15T07:47:00.000-07:00

a self-revelation ....

koii ye kaise bataaye ke wo tanahaa kyon hein
wo jo apanaa thaa, wahee aaur kisee kaa kyon hein
yahee duniyaan hain to phir, ayesee ye duniyaan kyon hein
yahee hotaa hain to, aakhir yahee hotaa kyon hai?

ik jaraa haath badhaa de to, pakad le daaman
us ke seene mein samaa jaaye, humaaree dhadakan
itanee kurbat hain to phir faasalaa itanaa kyon hein?

dila-ye-barabaad se nikalaa naheen ab tak koii
ik loote ghar pe diyaa karataa hain dastak koii
aas jo toot gayee hein phir se bandhaataa kyon hai?

tum masarrt kaa kaho yaa ise gam kaa rishtaa
kahate hein pyaar kaa rishtaa hein janam kaa rishtaa
hein janam kaa jo ye rishtaa to badalataa kyon hein?

2006-08-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

The search.....

There were two persons named "HE" and "She"

He got a very nice friend and walking with her for
past 3 -4 months went like hours and all what She said
was the sweetest thing in the world and the songs
which She sang was the most beautiful one He ever
heard.. Never there was a difference between the both
since both knew, their journey has an end and wanted to
make it most memorable...They shared the wonderful
nature of happiness and reduced the burden of
sorrow...She taught the meaning of friendship and love
to him...She was the most adorable person He ever met
in life...She was the best thing ever happened to his
life...never could He forget her and could have
a close friend as She...Down the path they followed
there came the abrupt end...neither He or She could
reduce the pain of parting but for She, He had to...
This is not the end of the story but here our story
begins..
The pain was nothing else but it was the pain of love…
She had found someone before meeting he. She started
believing that someone is her soulmate and god has
chosen someone for her…She prayed to God to give
strength and asked he to help her out.. As days passed
she was able to find a friend in He… He stayed by the
side of she to help her but could not forget his
love…This is the first time something like this
happened in his life and he never wanted to forget
also..He was sure that he will never get She as he
could see she was drifting away in her way to find
only the best in someone…But in this path there was
fighting…..He and She started fighting on small
issues..He was still in love and could not bear the
pain of she leaving… She was trying to help He to
forget her since she didn’t want to see he in pain…
Time passed and the marriage of She to someone
happened…”Love never fails” were just words with no
meaning for he…These are for selling books or
movies…He wanted to know why he lost his love and so
he went to his father first……He told the whole thing
to his father and asked why it all happened like
this……Father told “Someone is better than you and so
you lost”……His father was no different from any other
father…… He could not believe this and he goes to his
mother and he told what happened in his life………Like
all mothers she also thought her son is the
best….Mother told “ You are far better than someone
but she could not find you, so it’s not your fault”.
He knew that both the answers are not correct and so
he went to God………He will tell the truth at least….With
great difficulty he finds God and asks him. God held
his hand and told “You both are my kids…both of you
are good but when I created you and someone..I made
you more caring, compassionate and calm……Now I have to
give these to someone also.. so I am giving she to
someone……..She will be adding all these to someone and
both of you will be equal… I want all my kids to be
same…She is the best I can make you two equal… You
know that She is the best and She can only do this…”

He was happy in a way that god had given all these
earlier itself and made his life happy till now………He
wondered how wonderful it would have been if she comes
to his life…… He remembered what God has told him….
He tried to be a true friend to her but never let to
reduce the love he had for her ...

Here ends He's story ,but begins She's story !!!

[DELETED]....

Khushnazeeb hein woh jin ko hein mili ye bahar zindagii mein ....
har kisiko .. nehin milta yahan pyar zindagii mein ..
pyar zindagii mein !!!

It "hurts" to realize that you are "unwanted" !!!!

The END!!

2006-08-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Friendship Day to all my friends ... :0)

2006-08-05T22:50:00.000-07:00

On friendship day to you my dearest friend ..

Two yrs. ago one fine day , my best friend visited me . She brought me my fav sweets and flowers. She brought 2 rose plants - 1 yellow n 1 red . I was more than delighted to receive them for 2 reasons , 1st one being my liking towards the person who brought it and the the 2nd - liking towards rose. We had dinner & had a wonderful time , re-lived all our good old times together . Felt so happy to have her here . Not everyone gets their "Best friend" so near after finishing their studies n getting settled . But I was fortunate enough to have mine so close to me , atleast for a short period . I took care of those 2 rose plants , re-planted them to new pots carefully and watered them everyday ( or every other day ;0) ). But I did take care of them , they were too precious for me to ignore . And out of the two ,I liked the red one more ..not that I ignored the yellow, but being a girl , I always had a special liking towards the red . Every girl likes to get a red rose atleast once in their life time . I was extremely delighted to have them at my home ... Over the period , both the plants continued to grow ,but after blooming once the red rose started to grow weak.. n despite my extra care ,atlast the red rose ditched me . It wilted without even considering the time n care I gave to it :( . And the yellow rose started to faint too -drooping its small small branches , except for one small branch which showed me a good green side of it . I watered it every single day , with the hope that it will survive . I did not want to lose that one too . Finally it survived. The single branch that showed the "green-ness" started to grow n though I had to wait patiently for a long time, the end result was good . Finally I could see small -small budding here n there n one fine day there it bloomed , one after the other !!!!! I felt so happy to see them .. Beautiful yellow roses amidst light green leaves . It was such a pleasant sight .

And it was the time when I heard that my best friend was coming to meet me , after 2 yrs . My joy knew no bounds . Though she was tired flying across the country and reaching here after midnight ,I took her to the deck & with an apology over the "wilted red rose plant" , I showed her the yellow roses . She was veRRRy surprised n happy to see the flowers :0) !!!!

I told her " Sush the roses given by you , did not give up on me" . She replied" Ni.. its because you took good care of it ". And when I replied with a sad face that the red one dried out completely , my best friend, with an assuring smile(as always )responded "The yellow survived dii .. because yellow stands for friendship -ever lasting friendship ". I just looked at her admiring her ability to make a person feel the BEST ever. We both stood there watching those beautiful yellow roses' "nodding"-accepting what they heard :0) .

And on this Friendship day Sush .. I want to tell you .. how much your friendship means to me . It has grown over the years (10 + ??!!! ) to a bond that is stronger than amalgam ..lol..lol .. ( dont want to add too much senti.. ;0) !! )

Hope the following is familiar to you Sush ...

"This is our kind of friendship .. the kind that exists between two people who understand each other and communicate each other - even without uttering a word " ,using - the principal non verbal cue that 2 or more ppl use , to regulate their verbal communication " as we read in our books .

Thanks Sush for giving me the gift of true friendship and being my life-time friend . I am certain that we can count on each other no matter what .

Happy Friendship Day to you dear Sush ...

"As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever"

courtesy: vitamin C graduation :0) .. plz do hear it dii ...

2006-06-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was a child , I had this strong affinity for white roses, probably its a liking that developed after reading my all time favorite - " Beauty & the Beast " .. Beauty's father going in search of beautiful white roses for his youngest Beauty , him being captured by the beast and Beauty's arrival to rescue her dearest Father ..." everything still lingers in ma mind..

I was more than delighted, when I got a gift from one of my very good friends out here - a white rose plant !!!

Even though my dearest hubby predicted very few hours/days ;0) for its survival , the plant & me, :) dint give up.

And I proudly present the "first" white rose that bloomed at my home .

2006-06-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

Quite hard to admit,yet the fact remains, that I can still walk around saying " Im in my 20's ;0) ".. for 1 year more !!! The very special day in my life, ( probly more imp. than my wed. anniv.) -"to me"- just passed quietly until night , when my friends came over and surprised me. The best part of my Bday that I want to share - 2 cutie pies , who made it a memorable one ..

Sreehari & Meenakshi ...

Monday noon got a call from one of my friends here and while talking to her ,came their 2 1/2 yr old Sreehari dear .. and his mother told him "Sreeharii .. annie aunty kku happy birthday paraa" and he repeated like this .. "Annniiee auntiee .... Happiee Happiee Dayyy .." Man!!!

That was toooo cute ... loved him so much for that .He was always a favorite of mine and this made me even more happier and for the next few seconds I was so damn excited !! I m sure Remz could make out that easily from the rest of our conversation.. :0) ..

Was biting onto a "2-days-old-leftover-pizza" slice ,( my bday lunch :( !!! ) when another friend of mine called up to convey her wishes to me .. n then came the little star .. Meenu kutty, the cutie pie .. n said " ba ba ba ngu ngu ngu ... " in her sweet voice ...

Wishes from Sreehari n Meenu kuttyy ..made my day ... ;;)!!

2006-06-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

hiii... mi annie..veRRy happy to have found a space for myself to pen down my thoughts whatever / however it be .. little things that make me happyy , even smaller things that hurt me .. my likes ,dislikes, dreams,depressions ... all that befriend me ,everyday .. in my life .